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Being Reflective in a relationship means to be interested and curious about the feelings and intentions that motivate people’s behavior. What past or present experiences are affecting what both of you are doing or saying? Pausing and taking the time to investigate these motivations gives each person a chance to better understand each other rather than simply reacting emotionally. CRC believes that reflective thinking is a powerful communication tool that is at the core of healthy relationships. Our goal is to provide a reflective community for all children by teaching reflective practice to those who care for them.
Non-Reflective Interaction (example):
Any two people can quickly come to conflict if they are simply reacting. For example, a child does not want to brush her teeth at bedtime. Her mother is tired from a long day and shouts “I’m tired of you not listening! No bedtime story for you!”
Reflective Interaction (example):
The mother feels irritated with her daughters refusal to brush her teeth. Upon reflection, she realizes that she feels tired and irritable after a long day at work. The mother also recognizes that her daughter was probably upset because she interrupted their special playtime to get ready for bed. These thoughts help her to slow down and say, “I know it’s hard to stop playing, how about after you brush your teeth you and I can read a story together in your room?”